Utah Utopia

What To See

The state of Utah, where one wife is never enough, squeezed in between 5 states, Colorado, Wyoming, Idaho, Arizona and right next door to the holy state is the state of Sin, Nevada!

The Good Lord did not want me to enter the state of Utah, he tried to stop me. I drove in late one summers day and as I was leaving Arizona he tried to wipe me off the face of the earth with a flash flood. Lightning and thunder was playing havoc behind me and over the radio an emergency warning played “this is an emergency announcement, if you are in this area you need to find high ground, pull over immediately” . I luckily found high ground and was able to cross the border but then not much later that same night a deer appeared on the road and I quite nearly slammed right into it, nice try God, maybe next time.

I don’t know why He was trying to stop me from seeing Utah it’s a lovely place. Though it can get devilishly hot in the summer 110 Degrees Fahrenheit and higher and if you have no idea what that means you’re not alone, for literally everyone else in the world that’s 40 plus degrees Celsius. It also drops below freezing in the winter which is why it’s so well known as a winter destination for its winter sports atop the Rocky Mountains.

It’s a diverse state ranging in geography; mountains, salt lakes, pine forests, arid deserts and it is home to some dangerous creatures; rattlesnakes, scorpions, black bears, cougars… Cougars I didn’t see any cougars, but then that’s the thing about cougars you don’t see them, they hide in the shadows and then BAM!! They pop out when you’re at your drunkest and say they’re in their 20’s!

The state of Utah has some unreal places to see so let’s take a look, starting with the big 5 National Parks.

Zion National Park

First up Zion National Park, it’s a breathtaking landscape, Goliath limestone rock formations loom over as you enter the national park through a great valley, it could very well be the great valley from the Land Before Time movies, they’re very similar.

The great thing about some US National Parks is at some point someone just decided that they’d build the roads wherever was most convenient, the road through Zion takes the most direct and scenic route across the valley floor, even going as far as through the Goliath stones that have been there for millennia, it does mean spectacular views without ever having to leave the car.

The Narrows can also be found in Zion, an opening through a slot in the canyon which has flowing water that runs through it, a unique landscape to say the least.

Bryce Canyon

Bryce Canyon is an amphitheatre of vertical rock formations called Hoodoos, it’s quite cool and very unusual, looking down upon the rock formations it looks as though you are looking at termite eaten wood, the same texture. You view the area from an upper plateau peering across the valley of the Hoodoos with their beautiful colours of red, orange and white.

Arches National Park

If you thought 1 arch isn’t impressive enough, how about 2000? 2000 sandstone arches can be found in Arches National Park, the arches were created as an evaporite layer or salt washed away, look this all happened in the past and it’s not so important that I explain it -that’s what Wikipedia is for, what matters is there are incredible arches and they are interesting, I hope that explains it because really that’s the best that you’re going to get from me.

Capitol Reef

The drive through Capitol Reef is one where you’ll be stopping all the way along. You are driving through a desert landscape, though it has many oddities. The park is home to limestone monoliths that protrude out of the ground, the colours of the sedimentary rocks are brilliant against the olive green flora. The park is incredibly narrow and the drive doesn’t take too long, although you can get out and hike.

Canyonland National Park

Canyonland is Utah’s version of The Grand Canyon. It’s a pity that just because you’re the second best you don’t get a name like Grand, you just get Canyonland.

Like a scene from Mars the eroded landscape covers over 1000 square kilometres and will capture your attention almost as much as The Grand Canyon. The Colorado River and Green River meet here.

Outside the big 5 national parks there are many other sites spread out across the state.

Monument Valley

Located on the Arizona Utah border on the Navajo Indian Reserve is Monument Valley. If you’ve ever watched a western or Wile E Coyote or Pixar’s Cars you’ll know the scene.

This cinematic landscape is home to Sandstone pillars surrounded by nothing but flat desert.

Driving through you’ll be competing with a flurry of tourists for the designated spots all along the road trying to take the exact same photo. For optimum thrills make sure you’re playing the best old west music you can as you drive through this scene.

Bonneville Salt Flats

12 Miles by 5 Miles, the Bonneville Salt Flats are a sight if you’ve never seen Salt Flats before. A wide open plain of glistening white salt, always fun for a photo opportunity.

I went in the peak of summer which is not a good idea. If you want to feel Hell on Earth I suggest going to the Salt Flat at this time. It is quite a drive from Salt Lake City and you’re not looking at much. If you’re intent on seeing them go for it, but if you’ve seen one Salt Lake you’ve seen them all, that’s what they say, that’s what I say, I just made that saying up right then.

Park City

Park City you may recognise the main street from a movie or two, if you want to feel like you’re in a film then this is the place to be. It’s a super clean and pretty town with a lovely Main Street. It feels more like a set, it’s a picture perfect town a short drive from Salt Lake City, and a hub in the winter for skiers.

Salt Lake City

Lastly Salt Lake City. Look, it’s alright, it’s got what every other city has to offer, the Temple of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is here which you can’t go into unless you are Mormon, so not sure how keen you are to see a church.

In contrast there are a few dinosaur museums to be found here as it’s the sight of many fossil findings hence the Land Before Time Great Valley theory.